Romantic involvement with one individual can be a truly precious and fulfilling experience if both partners prioritize their needs and are committed to the prosperity and security of the relationship as a whole. However, certain traits may appear throughout time.
Co-dependency, also known as 'relationship addiction', is briefly defined as a learned behavioral and emotional condition that can be inherited from one generation to another and implies a person who believes that their essential purpose is to 'save' their partner by satisfying all of their needs. What is more, people who manifest codependency often carry on relationships that are not only emotionally destructive but also abusive.
It is necessary to mention that even if the principal environment where this condition manifests is a romantic relationship it can also appear at work or school.
Codependency might sometimes be difficult to spot because the patterns are deeply ingrained with conditioned behaviors or patterns that make it difficult for individuals to distinguish what is healthy from what is damaging.
So what are the signs of codependency?
Co-dependents usually deal with extremely low self-esteem, their identity revolves around their partner, making it hard to enjoy activities alone. Experiencing feelings of worthlessness is also a common trait. For instance, the 'giver' often finds it vital to make constant sacrifices to please the 'taker' but instead of receiving the same treatment, the result is reversed.
In addition to this, co-dependents would rather obey their partner and go along with whatever their opinion is to avoid arguments. Besides, they might also find themselves taking too much responsibility to please their significant other waiting for a never-coming reward. For example, one might even pay the bills in a marriage despite income differences.
Relationship addiction can be traced back to a person's childhood. It is a generally known truth that past family dynamics have an everlasting effect on each individual's life, even if they sometimes may go unnoticed. Likewise, a person's relationship with their parents influences behavior as an adult. Codependency is also determined by high exposure to substance abuse within family units.
To overcome this condition there are a few things people can do to obtain a healthier and more balanced future relationship with others as well as with themselves.
The first thing to be done, even though it sounds hard, is taking small steps to separate from the relationship.
Therapy is also very helpful for people who are in a codependent relationship. A professional can help with buried childhood traumas and teach the client how to express their feelings. People who have experienced abusive relationships will need to admit past abuse and begin to feel their own emotions again.
These are, indeed, challenging steps that will push limits and take effort but are essential for healing. As Dr. Soma Ganesan stated: 'The effects of trauma can be passed down through generations, but so can resilience and healing.'
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