“Stop complaining so much. There are so many things in your life to be grateful for.” Do these words sound familiar to you? Do you feel like there is a contradiction when people tell you that you should let yourself feel both the positive and the negative emotions, but at the same time always be grateful for what you already have? You are not the only one struggling with this.
As for the origins of the word gratitude, it is derived from the Latin word “gratia”, which means grace, graciousness, or gratefulness (depending on the context). In some ways, gratitude encompasses all of these meanings, so let’s have a closer look at how this concept has been explored by psychologists.
Gratitude is defined as the act of recognizing and acknowledging the good things that happen, resulting in a state of appreciation. It helps people to build a more positive approach to life, relish good experiences, improve their mental health and strengthen their relationships. In positive psychology research, gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness.
Two psychologists, Dr. Robert A. Emmons of the University of California, Davis, and Dr. Michael E. McCullough of the University of Miami, have done much of the research on gratitude. In one study, they asked all participants to write a few sentences each week, focusing on particular topics.
One group wrote about things they were grateful for that had occurred during the week. A second group wrote about daily irritations or things that had displeased them, and the third wrote about events that had affected them (with no emphasis on them being positive or negative). After 10 weeks, those who wrote about gratitude were more optimistic and felt better about their lives.
What does this study show? That gratitude helps people refocus on what they have instead of what they lack. It is a coping mechanism, deeply connected with resilience.
While there are a significant number of studied benefits of gratitude, there may also be some unintended consequences when it comes to the way we think about it. We might start to believe that it’s not okay to feel sad, disappointed, or angry when we have so much to be grateful for. That is why it is crucial to understand that gratitude can coexist alongside other feelings. Our inner lives are complex enough to hold multiple truths at once. That means we are allowed to feel both gratitude and sadness, gratitude and anger or gratitude and grief.
All in all, counting our blessings on a regular basis can lead to feeling more optimistic and enjoying an overall satisfaction with life. As Karl Barth once said, “joy is the simplest form of gratitude.”
Bibliography
How to Be Grateful Without Ignoring How You Feel- https://mytherapynyc.com/be-grateful/
Giving thanks can make you happier- https://www.health.harvard.edu/healthbeat/giving-thanks-can-make-you-happier
The power of gratitude- https://mensline.org.au/mens-mental-health/the-power-of-gratitude/
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